Take This Belt and Shove It
Why does the State of Maryland give a shit if I wear my seatbelt?
I hate my seatbelt. It’s uncomfortable and it wrinkles my shirt and I don’t like it and I don’t care what you think. My safety is none of your business, and I really don’t understand where the State gets off telling me what to wear. I pay my state taxes and tolls, and in return I’d appreciate it if they’d leave me alone. They don’t do anything else for me, so I should at least get that for my price of admission.
This month, a commercial started airing where I live that basically says, “Law enforcement agencies across the nation are cracking down on seatbelts.” Their slogan is “Click It or Ticket” which demonstrates a level of creativity that should never, ever make it onto broadcast television.
Isn’t this “law” crossing the line just a tad? Even though I don’t personally agree with it, the motorcycle helmet law makes a little more sense because you’re much more likely to get killed on a motorcycle. Anything goes wrong on a bike, your ass is skidding across asphalt at 60mph, so wearing a helmet is a no-brainer unless, of course, you want to have no brain.
Here’s the thing: I don’t ride a motorcycle. I drive a truck. I have side-impact door beams, dual air bags, anti-lock brakes, traction control, fog lamps, running lights, front and rear crush zones, deformable crossbar seats with ‘anti-submarining’, fire safety features, and an If You Hit My Truck I’ll Murder Your Children bumper sticker. And I know how to drive. The only accident I’ve ever had was when an idiot rear-ended me at 40mph. Destroyed my car, but I walked away without a scratch.
Oh, and I wasn’t wearing my seatbelt.
I get the argument for the law; that they’re making it mandatory to help keep us safe. But it goes too far. If they can’t tell me not to smoke or drink or jump out of an airplane or eat Whoppers with cheese or watch reality television, where do they get off forcing me to wear a safety belt? This is still America, right? We do still believe in the illusion of freedom, don’t we? Choosing not to wear my seatbelt should be my right, even if it’s evidence of my own personal stubornness and stupidity. We’re free to make stupid choices of all shapes and sizes (aren’t we, smokers?), but curiously not this one. Why? Because it’s yet another bullshit fine they can stick us with. They don’t give a shit about our safety.
Me? I don’t plan on getting in any accidents. But if I do, I wanna get really fucked up. I want to use up every last cent I ever spent on car and medical insurance, and then some. Let me leech off those evil, thieving pricks for a change. I want respirators and iron lungs and and complicated surgeries. (No catheters, please.) And none of that pulling my plug shit, either. I want to be a burden on everyone involved until the insurance money runs out, then I want someone to shoot me and make it look like Michael Jackson did it.
So I refuse to wear my seatbelt, ticket or no ticket. Unless my mom tells me I have to, of course. I still won’t like it, but at least I know she’s not full of shit when she says she has my best interests at heart…
Tags: seatbelt, seat belt, traffic ticket
Let me give you another take on the seatbelt issue. As a volunteer EMT, I’ve scraped my fair share of unseatbelted motorists off the highway. By far, the most important piece of safety equipment in your truck is the seatbelt and without it buckled, everything else becomes kind of pointless. The seatbelt keeps you place and gives the other safety equipment a chance to work (airbags, energy absorbing crumpling panels, etc). As an added benefit, you don’t get thrown into the steeering wheel (major source for chest crushing injuries), go through the windshield, or get thrown from the vehicle. It’s great that you’re a good driver, but what about the other 200 million crappy drivers, like the one who comes out of nowhere and runs the red light? If you feel no need to buckle up for your own safety, then do it for the rescue personnel who have to pick up after you.
I care about my safety. Your safety belt holds you in position, allowing you to better control your car when unexpecte events happen. I don’t need you loosing control and killing me because your too lazy to wear a seat belt.
If your in an accident, the seat belt will improve your odds of being seriously injured, so hopefully you will be able to assist others in the accident. Do it for them.
Do it for your loved ones. They shouldn’t have to go through the pain and heartbreak of loosing you because your too lazy to wear a seat belt.
Do it for the poor drivers that might follow your example and wind up dead.
It’s not just about you!
J-j-j-joke!
But as long as we’re taking silly shit seriously, let me just say that I CAN’T WAIT to lose control of my car and kill you, seatbelt or no seatbelt.
Jag, I, for one, would hate to be the driver behind you that gets to drive over your ejected body following your rollover. It would give me a complex for life. You might be a responsible person and carry enough medical insurance to cover the expenses incurred from your accident ejection injuries, but a LOT of people don’t, and they end up having their expenses paid through Medicaid, which means I get to pay for their medical bills, even though I lawfully “click-it” and had nothing to do with their accidents. One curious note, however… public school busses don’t have to have safety belts for their passengers. I don’t quite get the rationale behind the laws that require children to be in safety seats or safety belts in mommy and daddy’s car, but not when they ride the school bus.
Wow! It’s a joke, people!
However, you have to wear your seatbelt — you make me laugh, so you need to stick around for a while.
I’ve cut the driver side seat-belt out of my husbands car. I’ve also disengaged the drivers airbag.