K-911
From an e-mail sent by Katrina a couple days ago…
Hey Jags! You said a couple weeks ago that there would be something for the anniversary on the 15th but here it is the 17th and ZILCH!
Well, thanks for rubbing it in, Katrina. I know I missed the anniversary post, but I have a really good reason.
My dad killed my dog.
Now, there’s a whole involved cover story that says my dog was 13 years old, had cancer, and really hadn’t been doing well; that the humane thing to do was to put him down so he wouldn’t suffer.
But I don’t buy it.
See, I gave my dog, Rocky, to my grandmother, who now lives with my parents, because she loves dogs and has a lot more free time, and I’m an irresponsible nitwit who should not be trusted to care for living things. My parents have two dogs of their own, who receive better treatment and more attention than I did growing up. In other words, my parents are “dog people.”
My dog was a good looking, smart, noble Corgi. Their dogs are stupid retrievers. Clearly my dog was in the way and made my parents constantly aware of their dogs’ pathetic inferiority.
So my dad had Rocky whacked. Bumped off. Eliminated.
How did he do it? I’m not sure yet. I’m thinking of hiring a private investigator.
You hear about dogs getting put to sleep, but I gotta admit that I’m fuzzy on the details. Is it gas? Some kind of lethal injection? Is Dr. Kevorkian involved?
All I know is that my dad didn’t do it himself, but when I picture him paying someone to do it, in my mind all I’m seeing is a couple of old Italian guys in sharkskin suits taking my dog for a ride in the country. Doggie Hitmen, if you will.
There’s something sinister about all this, and I vow to get to the bottom of it. Or I’ll have a couple beers and do nothing, which is funner and far more likely.
He sleeps with the fishes!
“ROCK” Fish to be exact.
Hey Jagboy,
Have you considered that maybe it was the “stupid retrievers” that wacked your dog?
Dogs are fairly smart (even retrievers, Jags) and I’m sure your parents dogs were well aware of your disdain for them. Having said that I hope you don’t think that it’s all your fault (although it probably is).
I’m thinking that maybe your grandma had a hand in this. Although I don’t believe that she was aware of her involvment. You are obviously your grandmothers favorite grandchild, and anything (ANYTHING) you do is wonderful, exceptional, outstanding…etc., she probably thought that your/her dog was a superior canine simply because it was YOURS.
So, she simply treated the stupid retrievers with the same disdain that you did. Even dogs can only take so much. The retrievers had had enough.
Just a thought,
Jet